Yes, it's true....I've been out of the blog-world for a bit. But life gets, well, busy sometimes! I know you know that too. However, better to get back on the saddle and keep riding then to fall off to never ride again.
Lately I've been revisiting some of my "previous selves". It's easy to get lost in daily life and forget where we came from. Because of my Libran Sun Sign energy and my Gemini Moon, I am an intellectually driven-perfectionist, always seeing both sides to the story, empathic for all those I meet, and am in the state of contemplation quite often. I am quite diplomatic though, and love to find harmony and balance in all of my endeavors and relations. This is a huge PLUS in my book, but can be seen as a weakness when unbalanced with the humble and grounding energy of the Earth.
My point being, I sometimes get so focused on how to better myself, make changes, and be the best that I can be in ALL of my endeavors, that I lost sight of my many personal transformations and achievements over the last 5 or so years. This story is personal and not really a remedy for health, but my hopes lie in the idea that at least one person will read this and feel empowered, inspired, and also drawn back to a place of gratitude for all of the changes life has offered.
A little over 5 years ago a powerful, soul-changing relationship was sparked with my multi-talented, highly intuitive, intelligent, and incredibly creative man partner, Chippewa. Some of you may know him, some may not. Some wish they could see him again because he is so dang awesome and charismatic. And it's true! From the very first evening we spent time together, we were IN LOVE! (gooey mushy stuff is probably over at this point....plus he despises public recognition so don't tell him...heehee)
It was at that moment I knew I was shifting. I started examining my self-destructive habits (including a fairly poor diet, excessive drinking, a past relationship born out of manipulation and deceit, the use of illegal substances and yes, a few days in jail....that's right, I'm a human too!). Once I recognized the sources of negativity in my life, and began to cleanse spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I found myself feeling lighter and happier....even just after mere acknowledgment!
Love was in the air and suddenly I found myself driven to discover my full potential.
After a series of extremes (there's that Libra tendency again) I found myself once again at ground zero. I had joined AmeriCorps and moved to a new town, moved again because of carbon monoxide poisoning, lived in poverty and probably some depression, then tried being a raw foodist, vegan, vegetarian, didn't eat anything for 30 days just to see if I could do it, became a Hare Krishna and chanted religiously day after day, started learning about the chakras and yoga, studied the Bhagavad-gita, found an Indian man to study life with, read countless books on inter-dimensional reality, sacred geometry, psychic channelers, mythology, conspiracies, moved, moved again, and so on it goes.
...and then I cut off all my hair, swore off sex, movies, beer, and anything else in my life that was musing.
...and then I found myself completely miserable with a confused boyfriend, chronic acne and even MORE questions about my life. Where was I going? What is going on here? What was I missing?
JOY!
These were the steps I NEEDED to take to remember that it's not about labels and trends and compromising one's true self to fit into a certain box. It's about the JOY found in the simple pleasures.....such as enjoying a couple of good quality, tasty, micro-brewed beers rather than an 18-pack of Budweiser...appreciating a beautiful grass-fed, free range, hormone-free steak and thanking that animal for its sacrifice....eating bitter greens and loving it...appreciating that aliens probably exist but not fearing such beings...finding the beautiful connection between two people in a safe relationship where sex isn't a misconstrued pit of unhappy emotions...and admitting that I am good enough already.
I had uncovered the most divine secret of all time! It's all in the mind! Do we feel gratitude and love for all of life's blessings, even the tough ones that show us our shadow self and teach us to come back into the light of understanding? (that's what The Wise Owl is all about!).
Through cultivating a relationship with the plant-world and studying to be an herbalist, learning about nutrition, and training to become a yoga instructor, I found this perfectly laid-out red carpet of JOY-INSPIRED-ACTION! Alas....a calling! thank goodness my undergraduate degree in Psychology was not in vain...
This is not to say that these careers or livelihoods are the ticket to personal freedom....but I took the time, lots of time, to reassess myself. This just happens to be my path and the path that provides the least resistance and the most fulfillment. We all have that path, but we must be open to admit our past, move on, and receive the new with loving arms.
My life now is not perfect, but it's completely perfect as it is! Funny how shifting one's diet mindfully, developing a regular practice that moves the body and cleanses the spirit, and inviting herbal remedies into the daily routine will clear up acne, extreme behaviors, negative self-talk, and over all drama and negativity from one's life! And I haven't even mentioned the GONG! That's a whole post in itself.
It's magical indeed.
So my message for this evening is this...
It all comes from the mind. To quote one of my favorite songs of all time by the Pixies,
"Where is my mind?"
If we believe we are powerful, successful, happy, and harmonious, then so it is.
The mind is like a garden....it will run wild with useless, weedy thoughts, unless we choose to be the gardener of our own life and plant the seeds that will grow into the fruits and flowers of our truest desires. (James Allen is the bomb! check out his book As a Man Thinketh).
Till your mental soil, plant your seeds mindfully, and trust that they will grow.
Thank you for reading and following along. It's not always so easy to lay yourself out on the line.
Cheers!
The Wise Owl
